Tax Season: Not the season to be jolly

Apparently we aren't the only disgruntled tax payers

Taxes aren't fun, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a smile on your face. Here are a variety of quotes with a tax theme that may give you a little laugh:

"The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away."
- John S. Coleman

"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep." - Will Rogers

"I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat."
- Michael McShane

"When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation."
- Vanya Cohen

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax." - Albert Einstein

"Taxation with representation ain't so hot either." - Gerald Barzan

"Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either." - Mignon McLaughlin


"The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them." - anonymous

"It's about ten times the size of the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news."
- Don Nickles

"The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." - Ronald Reagan

"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages." - H.L. Mencken

"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag." - Jay Leno


"The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose."
- William Simon

"If the IRS took 100 taxpayers at random and sent each an incorrect notice that they owed an extra $92.35 in taxes and interest, more than two-thirds would probably just send in a check without investigating further." - G. Guttman

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss." - Robert Heinlein

"Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?" - Peg Bracken

"Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." - F.J. Raymond

"On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away." - Tom Lehrer

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." - Herman Wouk


"What's the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets go." - anonymous

"Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells 'THEIRS?'" - anonymous


"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin." - Mark Twain

"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income." - Alfred E. Neuman